Why it isn’t selfish to fulfill your dreams

When I was thinking about what blogposts to write for the rest of the year I really wanted to add a post about this topic. Cause honestly, that was one of my major fears when I started to work on fulfilling my dreams. Won’t people think I am selfish? What if everyone would only do what makes them happy? Am I an egoistic person?

By now I am certain that I am not egoistic or selfish and that the world would be a better place if people would do what made them happy and fulfill them. But when I sat down on the computer to write about why it is not selfish … the page just stayed blank.

Luckily I got some professional help. ;-) The wonderful coach Sandra Heim with her website www.mamarevolution.de (GERMAN) wrote this guestpost (Her guestpost was written in German and translated by me with her permission):

Does this sound familiar – your heart’s desire is calling and you start to open yourself up for new possibilities. But suddenly you are confronted with fierce resistence: “You can not do that”, “That will never work out”, “Do you care only about yourself now?” At that time you need to stay strong. Cause one thing is cretain: To fulfill your dreams is not only the best you can do for yourself. Here is why.

I still remember the reaction of my parents pretty well when I told them after I had finished my studies: “I will not take a regular job. I will write my first book.” They were not really jumping for joy, but they seemed rather desperate.

Of course I would have really liked to avoid all the conflict, but then I would have had to deny my inner voice completely and luckily my inner voice was too strong for that already.

Today, a few years have passed, I did not end up as a broke writer on the street and my parents are at peace with my path. Partly also because to a certain degree my choices lead to my happy marriage and their only grandchild.

Turning your own visions into reality often means that this first leads to chaos, which is followed by a new all-encompassing order. This order is beneficial to many people, not just yourself.

Follow your north star - mixed media art by Ursula Markgraf

Mixed-media art print “North star” – SOLD OUT

Fulfilling your dreams is not selfish,


 1. cause you will put a whole chain of positive occurrences into action

My first book was one of the many puzzle pieces that lead me and my husband together and gave my parents a happy daughter and a long-wished for grandchild. The voice inside you that encourages you to believe in your dreams knows more than you do. This voice wants the best for all involved and knows that your actions will have extensive consequences. If you follow this voice your life will be touched and enriched by many other people.

 2. cause it makes you a better version of yourself

To realize dreams means, that you have to give up parts of yourself in order to reach your future, like your strongest self-doubts or destructive habits. The stronger you hold onto your vision, the faster a new self-confidence will bloom and you will be a light for the people around you.

3. cause you will turn into a source of inspiration, especially for the people close to you

I am not sure how you feel about this, but when I can not do what I love (like sitting on my laptop and writing like right now) then I become grumpy. I nag at my husband, even though he did not do anything, am unjustly impatient with my daughter and so on … To follow my biz dream and work as a coach and author each day is my way of making sure that I am a content mom and wife the rest of the day.

Notice: If you express your visions and talents then you contribute to the well-being of your family and relationships.

4. cause you will make God laugh

Sometimes I imagine what God (the universe, the source or however you want to call it) feels like when he looks at us humans, his co-creators. It must be boring to always see the same things, mustn’t it? Human gets up in the morning, goes to the loo, goes to work, comes back home, sits in front of TV, goes to bed, gets up next morning … How refreshing must it be to watch someone finally do things differently? Someone who pauses and thinks: “Wow, I really must follow this idea! I don’t know yet how this will work, but I will open my own art gallery!” Making your dreams real means to give joy to God.

5. cause you will make yourself happy

Last but not least this is about you. You are the person that is closest to yourself, that you know best, that you are going to spend the rest of your life with and that you went through all ups downs with. Isn’t it appropriate to show this person’s dreams the utmost respect?

Which dream do you want to make real? I would love to read your comments!

Sandra’s website www.mamarevolution.de is in German, however she is fluent in English and happily works with English-speaking clients. As a coach she supports moms to make their own businss dreams real so they are financially independent, express their talents fully while having enough time for their kids. You can schedule a first free session by emailing her: sandra@mamarevolution.de

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8 Responses to Why it isn’t selfish to fulfill your dreams

  1. Pingback: Why do I create what I do? - Ursula Markgraf

  2. Julia says:

    Danke, Sandra. Du sprichst mir aus der Seele!

  3. Liebe Ursula, liebe Sandra,
    danke für diesen Artikel!
    Es gibt wahrlich viele gute Gründe, den Traum zu leben. Aber dagegen stehen so oft die inneren und die äußeren Stimmen.
    Bei Dir, Sandra, erwähnst Du Deine Eltern. Ich kenne diese Widerstände auch. Eigentlich ist es eine unfaire Sache. Ich träume nämlich ganz lange im Geheimen. Und wenn ich dann loslege und meinen Traum lebe, dann sind alle drumherum erstaunt.
    Klar, hat ja auch niemand was von mitbekommen. Und erst recht habe ich die anderen nicht mitgenommen auf meine (Traum)Reise. Die müssen dann erst mal mit meinem Traum zurecht kommen und nachholen, was ich mir bereits seit langer Zeit ausmale und vorstelle.
    Ich denke, dahingehend “schade” ich mir selbst.
    Aber dadurch, dass ich die Träume nicht bereits vorher mit anderen zerrede und mir kaputtreden lasse, zieh ich es dann auch wirklich durch. Den optimalen Zeitpunkt zur Verkündigung des Traums gibt es wahrscheinlich nicht. Das muss jeder mit sich selbst ausmachen…
    Liebe Grüße, Andrea

    • Sandra says:

      Liebe Andrea, da sprichst Du etwas wichtiges an! Das Mitteilen von Träumen ist wirklich eine heikle Sache und ich gehe auch oft erst eine ganze Weile schwanger mit ihnen, bis das Baby so groß ist, dass ich weiß, es wird auf die Welt kommen, egal was das Feedback von Außen ist. Ganz liebe Grüße, Sandra

  4. kathrin bode says:

    Ein so wichtiger Artikel!! Er macht auf wundervolle Weise deutlich, dass es unsere verdammte Pflicht ist, uns selbst wertzuschätzen und unsere Träume laut zu deklarieren. Auch weil ich glaube, dass wir nur dann es auch unseren Töchtern erlauben werden und ihnen dabei in die Augen schauen können.

    • Sandra says:

      Danke, Kathrin! Genau das ist unser Weg – uns selbst wertzuschätzen und unseren Kindern dadurch ermöglichen, das gleiche für sich selbst zu tun. Das passt gut zur “großherzigen Unternehmerin” :)

  5. Hilary says:

    This is the most important thing to teach our young people both by our actions and our words. Thank you :-)

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