The question that always makes me cringe

You know when you are in a conversation and everything is going great. It is nice and you are enjoying yourself. But then out of nowhere it pops up. THAT question. The question you hate. You have no idea how to answer. Or not answer without it being weird. All you wanna do is disappear into a puff of thin air. You wanna know what that question is for me?


“So what do you do?”


Yes, I have to admit the last three years this question caused alot of stomach aches, added to my wrinkles, and even made me slightly scared of meeting new people. Or people in general. :-) But I decided that this is now over! And therefore I will answer this question here and now, publicly, for everyone to read:


I am self-employed!


Yep, wasn’t that hard, was it?
Noone needs to know that this post has been sitting in the draft folder for a couple days now because I just did not have the courage to hit “publish”.

 And what does it mean to me that I am self-employed?


Self-employed to me means standing behind my work 100%.

I decide what I do. And when I decide that I do something I am behind it! If I can not stand behind it 100% it is my responsibility to say no.


Self-employed to me means making a difference.

I want to change something. Make a difference. It does not have to be a world revolution! ;-) But if I can make a difference to some peoples’ lifes to me that is success.


 Self-employed to me is the foundation for living my life according to my priorities and values.

It means that  work has to be planned with my values and priorities in mind. Not the other way around!


 Now – no matter whether you are self-employed or not – I would love to know what is your “definition” of self-employment? What does it mean to you?
Let me know in the comments! 



More Inspiration via email for you?


Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to The question that always makes me cringe

  1. Ruth says:

    I completely concur with you Ursula – that question has been the bane of my existence for a while now. And as I try to get my business up and running, it’s something that I struggle with on a daily basis. It definitely stops me from wanting to socialize with new people, I hear ya on that one!

    But I love that you’re conquering this fear and putting out there loud and clear that you are self employed. For me, being self employed has always meant financial freedom and doing things MY way!! But since my income is still in the sporadic stages, with no real consistency from week to week, I’m afraid this darn question continues to haunt me.

    But your story made me realize that I’m not alone with this fear… that’s it’s all par for the course. And for that, I thank you so much for sharing!

  2. Alara Castell says:

    Great question! Self-employment to me means:
    -Living life on my terms
    -Being able to fully express myself
    -Have more time with friends and family
    -Being able to serve and share my gifts
    -Having complete control of how I want to live
    -To name a few ;)


  3. Padma says:

    Schön geschrieben, danke. Doch: Nein, ich bekomme keine Schweißausbrüche. Mir geht es gut, für was sollte ich Scham oder Schuld oder Minderwertigkeit empfinden?? Das sind doch alte, alte Geschichten. Die Zeit ruft danach, ziemlich laut sogar, dem eigenen herzen zu folgen. Das hören wir natürlich besser, wenn wir still sind, das nötigste tun und Leben, Lieben, Lauschen, Tanzen und wieder in uns hineinhören, den Körper fühlen, in all seinen Facetten, die Sterne bewundern und wie es eine Freundin ausdrückt:” Morgen für Morgen entfaltet sich ein zauberhaftes Spiel von Nebelflügeln und tastenden Sonnenstrahlen über weißbereiften Wiesen und Wäldern.” Ja es ist Herbst, es ist manchmal richtig kalt, doch Innen ist es warm, schön, anmutig. Ich liebe mich, ich liebe das Leben und es ist eine gute, intensive Zeit der Transformation.

    • Ursula says:

      Lieben Dank für den Kommentar!

      Nein, ich bin – und war – definitiv nie der Meinung, dass man sich schämen müsste, weil man selbständig ist. Ganz und gar nicht. Und dass ich mich minderwertig fühlen MÜSSTE, nein, es war mir schon klar, dass ich es nicht muss. *lach*
      Aber es war halt trotzdem nicht so leicht …

      Liebe Grüße


  4. Lisa Haggis says:

    Congrats on this post, Ursula! Stepping outside of your comfort zone to declare this is very likely going to change how you feel when you talk about it. You should be so proud of the beauty you create for the world.

    For me, self employment means just that: creating. It means taking the reigns and deciding what you are going to leave behind in this world.

  5. Andrea says:

    Ich kenne die Problematik, aber ehrlich, eigentlich müssten die anderen doch bei der Frage Schweißausbrüche bekommen oder? ;) Wir finanzieren dem Chef wenigstens nicht den nächsten Ferrari und schuften dafür Tag und Nacht. Lach, nein wir arbeiten lieber selber und ständig ganz ohne Ferrari. Aber wie du schon sagst, dafür machen wir etwas was wir zu 100% lieben. Sag doch in Zukunft, “ich bin selbständig, Sie etwa nicht?” LOL….

    • Ursula says:


      Das werd ich mal probieren. :-) Du hast natürlich recht. Eigentlich bedauere ich viele, die sich an ihren Jobs festklammern, obwohl sie sie hassen und keinerlei Freude daraus ziehen …

      Ganz lieben Dank für Deinen Kommentar!!!
      Liebe Grüße


  6. I totally understand your feeling Ursula. When you’re blazing your own trail, it’s hard to declare what you are in that moment, because you’re still figuring it out as you go along and then it constantly changes. The world we walk in is not standard or conventional so defining ourselves seems harder. I would like to JUST say I’m writer and creator of The Convivial Woman, but what does that mean to others? I know what it means for me, but what the heck can others get out of it. So really it’s more about defining it for others and not ourselves, I think. I wish the question was “So, tell me who are YOU?” In the end, that’s what everyone will want to know when you have passed on from this life–they will not want to know what did you do, but rather who were you.

    • Ursula says:

      Thanks for your lovely comment. You are right – it is hard to put things into words when you are still figuring things out.
      I love what you wrote about our world not being standard or conventional. I think OUR world is not – MINE definitely isn’t! :-) But many people that I meet, many people that I am kinda surrounded with still have all those conventional ideas and standards in their heads. I find it hard to explain to them in just a few sentences without sounding totally “out there” what I do and why I am doing it!

      But the more I open up the more people I meet and talk to that seem to understand … or at least seem to be open to it! Love that!



  7. Being self employed means taking responsibility for my career, and everything that goes along with that.

    My income.
    My time.
    My energy.
    My workload.
    My work habits.

    Literally everything is in my control. It’s a blessing and a huge pain in the ass sometimes, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything !

    • Ursula says:

      <3 what you wrote. Especially love that you point out that it is not just fun and advantages but that it also comes with responsibilities!
      I think you can easily get trapped in being self-employed but still doing a "rat-race" if you are not careful. But the good thing is that it is all up to you!

      Thanks for your lovely comment!



  8. Being self employed to me represents freedom & empowerment! Life on my terms. I couldn’t do it any other way! Great post :)

    • Ursula says:

      Thanks Jane!
      Totally agree with you. Well put! And to be honest, even though years ago I would not even have considered self-employment at all – now I can not imagine it any other way. :-)



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *